Instead, this is what you see when you walk in my front door:
Yep. It's our front room. Every person who walks in the front door, sees this. Because heaven forbid you should play with your 18 different car and monster truck sets and then actually clean it up after you're done.
So, here's a look at a day in my life. All of this actually happened to me yesterday. Don't be jealous.
#3 child is practically impossible to get out of bed in the morning. If it's extra hard, I bribe with candy in his lunch. Every morning I have to give him a piggy back ride down from his top bunk, carry him to the hall bathroom and pick out his clothes for him to get dressed. He's seriously like a zombie. I do all this so that #4 can stay asleep in bed because he has afternoon Kindergarten.
Then, when #4 does finally wake up, he wants to watch movies, eat candy and play PS3-not do homework and get dressed. Some days, it's a fight to get him off to school. Yesterday it was raining, so I told him to put on his hoodie, but he really wanted to wear a leather jacket, and he insisted that the hoodie would fit under the jacket. So, he puts the jacket on over the hoodie (he is wearing the hood) and zips it up the front. A ridiculous look, but whatever, he's six and apparently has no fashion sense.
I make it to the library after dropping him off and then come home to wash baseball pants for practice. First, I bleach them in the sink because I've already washed them in the washing machine and they still didn't come clean. I soak them for over a half hour while I put a load in the washer. At this point, they still look the same so I use the brown Feldsnaptha soap bar to scrub them and then add some Spray 'N Wash for good measure. Then I stick them in the machine again. (And a day later, my hands still smell like bleach despite washing multiple times and several different lotions). It's still raining, so I drive to pick up #1 from school so he doesn't have to walk and because he has to get ready for his game right away. I hurry and make him a sandwich while he gets dressed and then we rush over to the high school, where I get to dodge idiotic teenage drivers while they cut each other off and honk at one another. I get home and come in the office to pay bills, only to realize it's time for the others to get out of school, and since it's still raining, I pick them up too. We get home and the little one is instantly begging for me to cut him a croissant and slather Nutella all over it. I tell him, "Not yet," so he proceeds to scream his head off. I put him in time-out, but give in and make the damn snack for him anyway since he's stopped crying-and let's face it, he's the baby so 95% of the time he gets his way. Meanwhile, #3 remembers that he has to paint his Pinewood Derby car because he has to drop it off the next day at the Cubmaster's house to be weighed. I get a text from #1 telling me that his game is cancelled because of the rain, but they're going to practice for awhile. I check the laundry and the pants still haven't come clean, so I completely give up. I straighten up the kitchen a little before a text comes in that they're already done practicing because JV and Varsity were both in the hitting facility with them since they couldn't go on the fields. While I'm picking him up, #3 is painting wobbly, mixed color lines on his car, but oh well, at least he did it himself unlike the other kids that will show up with their pimped out cars their dads did for them. When I get home, I decide to hide out in the playroom for like twenty minutes to read. I hear, "Mom! Where's mom?" while I'm lounging in the giant Love Sac. Is it completely awful of me that I didn't answer? I didn't make a peep. That's the whole point in trying to hide out. But, #1 quickly finds me because he wants to play on the PS3 anyway. But he closes the door so the others won't come in. Yeah right. #3 and #4 come in chucking stuffed animals at each other and screaming in delight. #1 wants to buy some special camo suit for his character on his game, but doesn't know the password to buy something. I don't know either since dad set it up and he's driving while I text him that #1 has sent an email request for the password, so he can't text me back before the child gets impatient. I give up on reading and head down to make French toast for dinner because, honestly, I didn't have a plan since I thought I'd be eating a ballpark hamburger right about now at the baseball game that didn't happen. I'm able to get a few pieces made and some bacon done before dad and #2 have to leave for practice-that they're still having even though they can't go on the field because dad is passing out uniforms and they will play whiffle ball on the grass. I'm able to get everyone else fed after that, but #1 only eats bacon because, apparently he no longer likes French toast. After dinner, the neighbor comes over to play PS3 for 15 minutes with #3 and #4 before he has to go home for the night. After he leaves, I tell them I'm going to have a shower and then we'll read scriptures. But #4 can't get his remote to work because the neighbor turned off his own remote, which apparently is now the one that he needs to use, but he doesn't know this yet so he literally lays on his back and kicks his legs and screams. #3 and I are yelling at him to stop or he doesn't get to play while we figure out the problem. Finally, I get in the shower, but as soon as I step in the water, all hell breaks loose. The door flies open and #4 is bawling because #1 is kicking them off the game even though they've only played for a few minutes. #1 flies in to gripe, I 'm trying to convince him to let them play, but then I hear thuds and fists of fury flying in the bedroom-all while I'm still in the shower mind you. I yell at them to stop and close the door so I don't freeze-which they promptly don't do. By the time I get out, dad gets home and tells me that aliens have taken over #1's body because he's as sweet as sugar as he tells dad that he let his brothers play and it's no big deal. What the hell?! We finally read scriptures, get the littles off to bed and watch TV. But around 10:30 or so, #4 comes into the hallway upstairs yelling down to me because he ripped a book while he was reading it! We finally get to watch TV again, but at midnight when dad goes up to bed, he realizes he has to glue the weights and wheels onto the Pinewood Derby car and it's apparently my fault for not reminding him. I finally go to bed around 1:20ish after I watch Agents of Shield, only to find myself lying there wide awake until almost 3 am. Some days I just want to punch something and bang my head against the wall...
